My Son Follows Closely the ‘Me’ He Knows, And Here’s Why That Both Inspires and Scares Me

There are truths we know in theory but whose reality can still rattle us when they unfold before our eyes. They are truths we have taught, preached, and repeated, yet when life presents them in their rawest form, they arrive with a sobering, almost frightening clarity.

For me, one of those truths is this: our children learn far more from our examples than from our instructions.

I have taught this for decades. I have watched it in families, studied it in casework, and seen it play out across cultures. But these days, as a father of a little boy not yet four years old, I am no longer just the observer or the teacher, I am the living example being copied in real time. And that changes everything.

What My Son Sees

My son has never attended a class titled Who is Pastor Taiwo. In fact, I am not a pastor, and I do not introduce myself as one. Yet he calls me “Pastor Taiwo.” Nobody around him uses that title for me, but he has somehow concluded that pastors are people who do a lot of talking, and since Daddy talks daily, he must be a pastor. I do not know exactly how he arrived at that conclusion. He has also never been formally taught the words program or seminar, yet they are already part of his vocabulary. Why? Because he hears me say them.

He visits my study, sees me speaking into a camera or a microphone, and tries to imitate what I am doing. I wear rings; he wants rings. I wear glasses; he wants glasses. I have a beloved collection of fedora hats; he wears them proudly. He doesn’t just tell people, “I want to be like Pastor Taiwo.” He shows it, by copying my dress, my accessories, and my mannerisms.

The me he knows right now is not the depth of my values or convictions. It is my visible, daily habits. In his world, if my daddy does it, it must be good.

The Weight of This Realization

I did not sit him down to teach him these things. I did not plan a lesson on what to call me, what to wear, or how to hold a pair of glasses. But he caught them all the same. And that is both humbling and terrifying.

We often think of discipline as a list of rules we give to children, instructions we issue, or corrections we enforce. But I am more convinced than ever that true discipline is the life we live in front of them.

What we model is what they will mirror. Our tone becomes their tone. Our habits become their habits. Our way of treating people becomes their way of treating people. You cannot teach respect to a child you regularly disrespect. You cannot lecture on honesty if your own dealings are full of half-truths. You cannot insist on self-control if you have made public anger your personal signature.

The Myth of Generational Curses

I do not believe in generational curses as the primary shaper of destiny. I believe in generational examples. I do not believe generational poverty is a mystical chain that cannot be broken. I believe the deeper poverty is the poverty of poor examples passed down as normal, accepted, and even celebrated

Children don’t just inherit our DNA; they inherit our ways. They inherit our language, our attitudes, our values , or lack of them. They inherit our handling of money, our respect (or disrespect) for people, our work ethic, our temper, our faith, and our fears.

Father’s New Caution

This realization has changed my filters. Today, every decision, no matter how small, runs through a single question: If my son copies this exactly, will it make him a better man?

That question affects my language. It affects my disposition. It affects how I treat people, even in moments of pressure. It affects what I allow into my private life, because I know it will eventually show in my public one through my son.

And here’s the truth, I cannot escape my own example. Neither can you. Our children’s eyes are sharper than our intentions. They record even when we think the camera is off. And one day, we will see our attitudes, habits, and values, not in a mirror, but walking, talking, and making decisions in the world.

The Call to Every Parent

If there is a call to action here, it is this: parenting is not primarily about what we say; it is about who we are. The loudest lessons are not the ones we teach with words but the ones we live without thinking.

So, to every parent, grandparent, guardian, or mentor our example is not just influencing the child in front of us; it is shaping the adult they will become. And that shaping is happening now, with or without your conscious participation.

Because when it comes to children, the equation is simple: What they see is what they do. What they see is what they become.

And that is why, in my house, the mirror that matters most is not the one on the wall. it’s the little boy watching me.

Share your own stories and reflections in the comments, iron sharpens iron, and your insight might be the spark another parent needs.

Do have an INSPIRED week ahead with the family.