Raising Children in Today’s World: The Wisdom of Gamaliel’s Counsel

As I journey through the daily wonder (and sometimes, exhaustion) of raising our son, our live-in philosopher, negotiator, and budding moral compass, I’m often taken back to one unforgettable lesson I learned from the venerable Dr. Gamaliel Onosode (may his soul rest in peace).

📖 Secrets of the Journey

During my time as a commissioner with the Discovery for Men Ministry, under the leadership of the late Pastor Taiwo Odukoya, we hosted a powerful series titled Secrets of the Journey.

The format was simple: bring in men of character, those who had distinguished themselves in personal, corporate, and national life, and let them share the truths that shaped their journey.

Dr. Onosode, with his signature, clarity and grace, shared a simple but enduring truth:

“Leadership at all levels is only as effective as the example we live by.”

He illustrated this with many personal stories, but one struck me deeply, especially now, as I raise a toddler in my mid-fifties.

👧🏾 “We Don’t Put Our Hands on the Wall.”

Dr. Onosode recalled a moment when his 3- or 4-year-old granddaughter corrected a visitor:
“We don’t put our hands on the wall.”

Amused but moved, he realized she hadn’t been formally taught that rule.
But in their home, not putting hands on the wall was part of the environment. It wasn’t enforced by lectures; it was simply the norm.

She didn’t just obey the culture.
She became an ambassador of it.

That’s when I realized: children don’t need to be taught everything directly, they live what they see.

🧒🏽 A Toddler Accountability Partner

Fast forward to my own home, where I now share space with a 3½-year-old who also serves as my accountability partner-in-chief.

One day he’s reminding me:

• “Please flush the toilet when you’re done.”
• “This shoe is for inside; that one is for outside.”
• “Daddy, don’t waste food, finish your rice.”

The next? He’s standing at the bathroom door saying:

“Daddy, this is my private time. Can you wait outside?”

I promise you, I didn’t train him to escort me out of the bathroom, but I did teach him about privacy. And clearly, I did a fantastic job. 😂

And then, there was this morning.

I couldn’t find his usual bowl, so I served his cereal in a plate. He took one look and said with calm clarity:

“Daddy, cereal does not go in a plate. It goes in a bowl.”

I explained quickly, trying not to laugh:

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t find your bowl and you’re running late for daycare. That’s why I used the plate.”

His reply?

“Oh.”

Case closed.

These small exchanges say something profound: he is learning to hold on to standards, and he expects consistency. Even in cereal delivery.

🧠 Children Are Absorbers, Not Just Responders

What amazes me is not just that he’s following our values—it’s that he’s reminding us of them.
Sometimes more consistently than we can manage ourselves.

He knows when it’s time for snacks (after food).
He knows kindness by tone and action.
He knows how we handle space, food, and feelings, because he sees us doing it daily.

Children don’t need rules printed and pinned to the fridge.
They need examples printed in daily life.

⚖️ The Culture of Discipline

And so I’ve come to this timeless conclusion as I did my book Transforming Child Discipline into the Culture of Disciple:

Discipline is not a rulebook, it’s a culture.

It’s not about shouting orders or enforcing punishment.
It’s the rhythm of life, the values lived out loud.
It’s the order in our chaos.
The boundaries in our love.
The integrity in our habits.

Discipline is not a courtroom, it’s a lifestyle.

We don’t raise children by controlling them.
We raise them by showing them. Over and over again.

👨🏾‍🦳 When the Teacher Becomes the Student

And here I am, mid-fifties, raising a little boy with a big heart.
Learning, re-learning, and often being called to order by the very child I’m raising.

It’s humbling.
It’s beautiful.
It’s the privilege of a lifetime.

Because sometimes, the teacher becomes the student.

🕊️ Final Word

If you’re a parent, a guardian, or someone helping shape the life of a child, remember:

Discipline is caught, not just taught.
Model it.
Live it.
Breathe it.
Let your home speak, even when you are silent.

Do have an INSPIRED week with your family.
With grace, from one #50PlusDad to another.