Joseph, Jacob & Our Son of Old Age: When Mum Brings the Balance and We Parent from Two Ends of the Same Heart

“Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age…” (Genesis 37:3)

I understand Jacob.
More than ever before, I understand him.
At 51, I held first child, Tieri, for the first time.
He came after years of longing, prayer, and surrender.
He came in my twilight, and yet, he brought a new dawn.

And like Jacob, I often catch myself leaning into the softness of fatherhood with him.
Sometimes, it feels like he can do no wrong. Not because he is perfect.
But because his presence is a miracle, a reminder that life still gives gifts, even when we think it’s too late.

But here’s what I’ve also learned:
💡 The love of an old-age father must be anchored by wisdom.
Because what feels like innocent affection today can plant seeds of resentment or rivalry tomorrow, if not stewarded with grace, balance, and insight.

So I’m learning…
🧠 To love deeply but discipline fairly.
💬 To affirm him lavishly but correct him lovingly.
⚖️ To guide him gently but consistently.
👨‍👦 To let my joy not cloud my judgment.

Because raising a son of your old age is not a license to spoil. It’s a sacred invitation to parent with perspective. To remember that while he is my miracle, he is first and foremost his own person, sent into the world for a purpose bigger than me.

But here’s the deeper miracle:
I do not walk this journey alone.
My wife brings the balance.
She brings the firmness.

She is the anchor for reasoning and restraint, especially when my emotions as a father begin to sail unchecked.

I know, without a doubt, that she would lay down her life for our first child,
The one she carried so gracefully in her 40s.
It was her first pregnancy. And she bore that season with strength, joy, and unshakable faith. Even in her silence, I heard her prayers. Even in her stillness, I felt her love.

But here’s what amazes me daily:
As deep as her love is, she draws the line.
Lovingly. Steadily. Consistently.
She has mastered the art of saying “No” with tenderness, of correcting without condemnation, of disciplining without disconnecting.

And here’s what we’ve achieved, not perfectly, but purposefully:

✔️ When I am being soft with him, she allows me that space. She doesn’t interrupt it. She watches, smiling at the dance between father and son.
✔️ But when she is being firm and instructive, I do not resist her. I join her. I back her.
I stand behind her, not just as her husband, but as a co-parent who respects the rhythm she’s setting.
✔️ And in those moments, I bring my own firmness, laced with love, but firm all the same.

🎯 It is a case of unity in divergence.
We do not compete; we complement.
We do not cancel each other out; we reinforce.
We do not confuse him with contradiction; we surround him with wholeness.
Because parenting is not a performance, it is a partnership. It is not about sameness; it is about synergy.
One of us holds the boundary.
The other fills it with affirmation.
One says, “This is not acceptable.”
The other says, “But you are still deeply loved.”
And together, our son grows up with both structure and softness, with discipline and delight.

👨‍👩‍👦 This is how we raise him:
With one heart, one voice, different expressions.
With different rhythms, but one direction.
And in that unity, he sees strength.
In that balance, he finds safety.
Because more than anything, we want him to grow up knowing:
❤️ Love is not always permissive.
🧭 Correction is not rejection.
🏡 And family is a team that never lets go, even when it says, “Not this time.”

So today, I thank God for Joseph.
And I thank God for Tieri, my own coat-of-many-colors child.
May I have the wisdom:
To love well.
To lead well.
And to not lose sight of the others that love touches too.

I honor Joseph.
I honor Jacob.
I honor my son.
And most of all, I honor the woman who brings the balance. Because when Mum brings the balance, the home finds its rhythm. And when both parents lead from two ends of the same heart, children grow in safety, structure, and love.

Do have an INSPIRED week ahead.