Tieri Is Turning Four: Responsibility and Accountability Before Celebration

There are moments in life that silence words moments when time itself stands still, watching eternity unfold in an ordinary room.

For me, that moment came in a consulting room almost five years ago.

My wife and I walked in, hearts trembling, prayers whispered. After nearly fifteen years of marriage and several consultations within and outside Nigeria, we had surrendered the matter of having a child to God. Yet, we kept faith.

That day, the doctor looked up with a smile that seemed to stretch from heaven to earth and said,“Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Akinlami, you are pregnant.”

My wife was silent. Then I burst into tears. Even as I write these words today, I can still feel those tears streaming down my face, tears of joy, awe, and gratitude. Tears that spoke of a God who neither delays nor denies.

It was the fulfillment of every word we had believed, every faith we had proclaimed, every consolation we had given to others, now come full circle in our own story.

That day marked the beginning of a new phase, the phase of fatherhood.

Expectation Meets Responsibility

Months later, we discovered the baby was a boy. I smiled quietly, not because of gender, but because a life had come. I have never subscribed to that flawed sentiment that prefers one gender over another. Childhood itself is sacred, complete in its own right, irrespective of sex.

Then came that morning, 1:00 a.m., October 25, 2021. At 51 years old, just months before my 52nd birthday, I held our son, Tieri, in my arms for the first time.

In that sacred moment, something shifted within me, a huge sense of responsibility and accountability, even before celebration.

The transition was instant: from expectation to responsibility, from emotion to obligation, from joy to purpose.

Because I have lived long enough to know that bringing a child into the world is not the miracle, raising the child is.

A History That Must Not Repeat Itself

I know this personally. On the day I was born, there was joy and celebration. But along the line, because those who raised me, not out of wickedness but weakness, could not uphold the weight of responsibility, I became the subject of countless abuses, including physical, sexual, emotional and neglect.

If not for the saving grace of my Lord Jesus Christ, who rescued me at 27, I would not be here today.

And so, I vowed that history would not repeat itself. My own son would not inherit the trauma of an unguarded upbringing. His foundation would be built on responsibility before celebration.

It was as though God whispered to me that night:
“This one is not a possession. He is a trust.”

Responsibility and Accountability Before Celebration

That night in the hospital, while others rejoiced, I celebrated quietly.
I knew this was not just a blessing, it was an assignment.

This boy was an opportunity to lead a life from the cradle.

Over the years, many children had passed through our home, children we had mentored, loved, and supported. But this time, the responsibility was direct, complete, and non-transferable.

Now, four years later, the journey has been both humbling and illuminating. Parenting is not easy. It is the most demanding work of all, not because of what the child is, but because of what the parent must become.

A child must be guided, directed, and formed, yet that guidance must respect this truth: the trajectory of a child’s life is already defined under God.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,” saith the Lord, “thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Every child is a good and perfect gift from above. But that gift does not automatically grow into a good adult.

Parenting, therefore, is not a ceremony, it is stewardship.
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Three Things I Know About Childhood
The Bible calls children “the heritage of the Lord” and “the fruit of the womb a reward.”

After nearly three decades of advocacy, teaching, and reflection, three eternal truths about childhood remain constant:

1️⃣ Childhood is a Gift: a divine trust from God.
2️⃣ Childhood is a Mystery: a reality to be studied, not assumed.
3️⃣ Childhood is a Transition: a bridge from dependence to destiny.

And the parent’s sacred duty is to nurture the gift, explore the mystery, and guard the transition with wisdom, patience, and reverence.

The Child as a Person

A child is not a project but a person.
Every person, child or adult, shares four characteristics of personhood:

1. Worth: Every child deserves dignity and respect.
2. Judgment: Every child can think and reason.
3. Choice: Every child has the power to decide.
4. Responsibility: Every child has leadership potential.

Parenting, therefore, is not about control but cultivation. Our role is not domination, it is direction.

Parenting in a Shifting World
This week, as Tieri turns four, I find myself reflecting, not just on him, but on the curriculum that forms parents.

We live in a rapidly shifting world, digital, distracted, and disoriented. The only stability in this world is value.

If we do not anchor our children in values, the winds of culture will sweep them away before they find their footing.

Everything Tieri is meant to be has already been defined in heaven. Our role as parents is not to rewrite destiny but to equip him to discover it.
As a father, I know I do not have dominion over my son, I have authority.

And that authority is transient. Its purpose is not control but communication, the communication of values that will outlive me.

That, to me, is the true definition of parenting:

Using temporary authority to impart eternal values.

The True Test of Fatherhood

How will I know I have succeeded?
Not by applause or wealth, but by fruit.

When I can present to the world a man who knows his worth, exercises sound judgment, guards his power of choice, and lives with responsibility and leadership, then I would have fulfilled my duty.

That will be my offering to God and to humanity.
A man who understands that discipline is formative, not punitive; that freedom is responsibility, not rebellion; and that love is service, not indulgence.

In Closing

As Tieri turns four, my heart swells, not just with joy, but with renewed sense of responsibility and accountability.
The gift of fatherhood is not a medal to wear; it is a mission to live.

I celebrate not merely my son’s birth, but the opportunity to model values that outlive me.
Because every time I look into his eyes, I am reminded that a child is not a trophy, he is a trust.

And trust is not something to be celebrated first.
It must be lived, responsibly, accountably, and continuously.

Next week, I will continue this reflection, sharing the lessons I’ve learned from him, the unexpected wisdom of a four-year-old boy who daily teaches me what it truly means to be a father at twilight.

Do have an INSPIRED week ahead with the family.