By

Taiwo AKINLAMI

The 29th Annual Celebrate Kids Conference of the Ohio CASA/GAL Association, held from Wednesday, September 25, 2024, to Friday, September 27, 2024, served as a profound gathering for those dedicated to child advocacy and support. Among the sessions, Alexandra Gilbert, LISW-S, a Private Practice Outpatient Therapist from Northwoods Clinic, delivered a particularly impactful workshop on Talking to Teens, navigating the complexities of communicating with adolescents, and the critical need for understanding their mental health struggles.

Gilbert’s session was titled “Talking to Teens: Navigating Adolescent Behavior and Mental Health.” As the landscape of adolescence continues to evolve with new stressors, Gilbert emphasized the need for deeper understanding and nuanced approaches when dealing with teenagers.

Addressing the “Silent Generation”
Gilbert asked a vital question early in her presentation: How do we help a generation we cannot talk to? This inquiry encapsulated the central struggle many caregivers, educators, and advocates face in today’s fast-paced, digitalized world. With a candid and detailed examination of adolescent behavior, she shed light on the fine line between typical teen conduct and red flags for potential mental health concerns.

For many social workers, child advocates, and mental health professionals, Gilbert pointed out, stress is a primary factor. Adolescents who are under such pressures often react in ways that may seem inappropriate to adults but are coping with mechanisms for deeper, unresolved issues.

Defining Mental Health
At the heart of Gilbert’s message was the need to distinguish between mental health and mental illness. While many people experience sadness, stress, or trauma at various points in life, these emotions only become a mental health disorder when they impair daily functioning. Gilbert emphasized that not every diagnosis is linked to a chemical imbalance—external life events, trauma, and major life transitions can also trigger mental illness.

This nuanced approach to mental well-being, explained Gilbert, involves recognizing that mental health is the balance of an individual’s self-worth, confidence, relationships, and overall happiness. Achieving this balance is complex, and the pressures to “always be happy” can, in fact, become toxic. Stress, she argued, is inherent in both adolescence and adulthood, but the key to healthy mental well-being lies in how one navigates that stress.

Adolescence: A Time of Change and Confusion
In one of the most illuminating sections of her presentation, Gilbert broke down the developmental stages of adolescence—tweens, teens, and young adults—and the specific challenges each phase presents. Tweens, starting around ages 10 to 13, are on the cusp of physical changes, with puberty often beginning earlier than in previous generations. Gilbert humorously described this group as “savage,” noting their budding sarcasm, social anxieties, and developing humor. Yet, the most daunting part of tween life is their lack of empathy and perspective, leaving many adults feeling unsure about how to connect with them.

For teenagers (ages 14 to 17), the challenges intensify. This group is undergoing rapid physical, cognitive, and socioemotional changes. They are also navigating complex social hierarchies, peer pressure, and romantic relationships. Gilbert reminded the audience that for teenagers, these emotional experiences are happening for the first time, making them overwhelming and intense. She encouraged professionals to reflect on their own adolescent experiences as a way to empathize with the teens they work with.

Finally, Gilbert touched on late adolescence or young adulthood (ages 18 to 21), highlighting that while they may legally be considered adults, their executive functioning isn’t fully developed until around age 25. This delay in development explains why even young adults often struggle with long-term planning and decision-making.

The “Armpit” Phase: The Connector Between Childhood and Adulthood
In perhaps one of the most memorable metaphors of the session, Gilbert referred to adolescence as the “armpit stage” of life. She described it as the uncomfortable, often messy period that connects childhood and adulthood, and while it’s not always at the forefront of our minds, its importance cannot be overlooked.

This phase of life, she explained, is full of unpredictable physical and emotional changes. Teens often face intense self-consciousness about how they compare to their peers, leading to anxiety and uncertainty. The changes in their brains, particularly the underdeveloped prefrontal cortex, which governs executive function, make it difficult for them to anticipate the consequences of their actions. Gilbert pointed out that teens often operate with a “go button” but no “stop button,” leading to impulsive decisions and heightened emotional responses.

Mental Health Red Flags
The session’s focus on recognizing the warning signs of mental health concerns in teens was particularly timely. With an increase in reports of depression, anxiety, and even suicide among adolescents, Gilbert stressed that many of these issues manifest as behavioral changes. Teens may withdraw from activities they once enjoyed, exhibit increased irritability or anger, or show significant changes in sleep patterns and appetite.

Gilbert also addressed anger as a primary emotion often masking deeper issues such as anxiety or depression. She explained that anger in adolescents is frequently misunderstood, but when looked at closely, it’s a sign of an underlying struggle. This, she emphasized, is where professionals need to be observant and curious, not dismissive.

The Pressure of Modern Teen Life
The pressures facing teens today are unique and, in many ways, unprecedented. Academic pressure is at an all-time high, with many students taking Advanced Placement (AP) courses and preparing for college earlier than ever before. Social media, too, plays a significant role in teen stress, contributing to body image issues and fear of missing out (FOMO). Gilbert highlighted that teens today often avoid fully engaging in social activities out of fear that they might be recorded and exposed online.

Another growing concern is the political and social climate. Gilbert noted that teens are more politically active than previous generations, engaging with issues such as climate change, discrimination, and school safety. This political awareness, while empowering, also contributes to heightened anxiety and stress.

The Role of Advocacy in Teen Mental Health
One of the most powerful takeaways from Gilbert’s session was the importance of advocacy and connection. She cited data showing that the mere presence of one supportive adult in a child’s life can significantly mitigate the effects of trauma and mental health issues. This single relationship, whether with a parent, teacher, or social worker, can provide a lifeline for teens who feel overwhelmed and isolated.

Gilbert’s solution-oriented approach stressed the need for empathy, validation, and normalization in conversations with teens. Empathy, she explained, is about recognizing and sitting with someone in their pain, rather than trying to immediately solve their problems. Validation helps teens feel seen and heard, while normalization reassures them that their feelings are not as alien or isolating as they may seem.

Practical Strategies for Engaging Teens
For those wondering how to bridge the gap between adults and teens, Gilbert provided several practical strategies. She recommended starting with small, non-threatening conversations—ask them about their favorite music, TV shows, or hobbies. Respect for privacy and boundaries is essential, as is meeting them where they are, even if that means texting instead of face-to-face conversation.

Gilbert also discussed the importance of rolling with resistance. Adolescents may push back against authority figures, but this is a natural part of their development. Rather than taking it personally, professionals should stay consistent, show up for them, and offer unwavering support. It’s through this consistency that trust is built.

Conclusion: Hope for the Future
As Gilbert concluded her session, she left the audience with a message of hope and resilience. While the mental health statistics for teens may seem daunting, she reminded attendees that positive change is possible. By offering teens the chance to express themselves, validating their emotions, and standing by them even in their most challenging moments, adults can help steer them toward a brighter future.

Her workshop on Talking to Teens was not just an educational experience but a heartfelt call to action, reminding us all that the smallest gestures of care and understanding can have a profound impact on a teen’s life.

Taiwo AKINLAMI is the Curator-in-Chief of the S.A.F.E for Children® Information Bank, Ohio, a project of power parenting Company LLC (http://www.powerparentingcompany.com/)